I am going to keep this short because I am exhausted.
Today, I walked to the center to read at a coffee shop in town. I sat near the front window as I journaled and watched people strolling along the Peatonal- shopping, playing, chatting, etc.
I walked around town after I left the coffee shop.
I have an obsession with all the little boutiques in town- everything is so cheap. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, Artesian tents are set up along 3-4 blocks between my street and the plaza where all sorts of jewelry, candles, homemade crafts, candies, leather goods, and home decor are sold.
I peered into each tent, curious to see if there were any new artists in town this weekend.
I came across a tent with a young boy selling handmade alpargatas in various patterns. They were 22 pesos- roughly $7US. We had a little chat about alpargatas and TOMS. He didn't seem too interested. ha. As I got to the end of the row or tents, I came upon the plaza and the sky was all pink and bluish... giving everything a soft glow that really made it feel like summer.
I walked past a giant menorah and into the central plaza. The plaza was FULL with people: artists, vendors, children playing and eating cotton candy, families taking pictures, little boys playing soccer... the fountain looked more lively than ever and the trees were green from the past two days of rain we've had. It was still chilly but just cool enough for a light jacket and a stroll. I walked my 20 min home with a little skip in my step. I thought about the little time I have left to spend with people here and how much I will miss them... and the long 40ish days I have until I can finally see friends and family at home, all of whom I miss so much.
I thought: I'm pretty blessed to feel so parted between these two worlds.
11.10.2007
This was written like a month ago. I just forgot to post it.
Today I had a conversation with some Argentine youth (who will go unnamed) about the United States. She spoke English and wanted to travel to speak English and go to school abroad. When asked where she would go, she said “Not the United States- I don’t like the culture or the politics.” Funny, she has never been to the US.
I then asked her what about the politics she doesn’t like. “Todo” meaning “all of it,” was her response. She couldn’t tell me what specifically she didn’t like- but she knew she hated Bush. Oh ok, well that’s a sufficient reason. Totally reasonable.
I haven’t been angry, mainly just amused, when people criticize the US here. It’s funny to me. Their politicians are so corrupt and their people are naïve and apathetic, in general (I don’t want to make sweeping statement and apply stereotypes, though it may be hard to avoid). Still, they have a mouthful of criticism for Americans: we are too rich, all of us have pools in our backyards, we are naïve and don’t see what’s really going on in the world, our politicians are super corrupt and money-grubbing, we are ignorant and act entitled, and the list goes on…
Now I am NOT denying those critics their right. They are right a lot of the time. Clearly, the US has her problems. Yet, someone has to ask “Why is the US where it is today? Why does our economy boom and our influence reach the world over?”
If you were to say that Americans harder working, smarter, better looking, stronger, etc., you simply put down another nationality or culture. Then I’d be accused of prejudice or even… racism. Oh God no.
Why is America where she is today? I’m not assuming that our position is good and almighty. I am asking why does America (EEUU for other Americans) find herself as THE key player in International Relations? I mean to say that if nations were playing a game of poker, America wouldn’t always have winning cards. But she would always be betting the most, calling every other nations’ bluff, and scoping out suspected cheaters. She’d always be playing. So why is America always in the game?
Could the answer be that obvious? Could it really be the strong foundation that our forefathers (Madison, Paine, Franklin, Jefferson, etc.) gave us: A foundation of morals and values- more specifically, a value for life? Could it be the idea that everyman was created equally and given free reign and complete responsibility for his/her life so long as they stayed within the laws of the state- those, which only served to protect the general welfare and promote individual wellbeing? Could it be capitalism- the economy’s freedom from the government’s regulating hand? Could it be that it is a boiling pot of humanity… each man seeking religious, social, and economic freedom? Why would people be attracted to America? Could it be it is the representation of an ideal?
Even if I didn’t believe all that mentioned above has contributed to America’s arrival at her present state, I would lie and say it was the strong foundation of values: morals, freedom, personal responsibility, and individual life. What other reason could I give that wouldn’t make me out to be a “close minded red-neck” or the next Hitler? To claim that our land, people, or society is reasoning for our country’s status is to be borderline… racist? Close minded?
Think about it.
And if it’s not any of the above reasons and God knows it isn’t luck, then what could it be? Values.
I don’t know what else it could be? Whether you and I like it or not, our values drive what we say, think, and do. Our values drive our lives. For that matter, when one looses his or her values, what happens to them? What will happen to America? Will she stop being what our “founding fathers” found and become what other nations want her to be? I don’t know how that could happen if other nations can’t agree on what a perfect America would look like… especially when those nations are filled with youth that form their opinions based upon media and CNN. But that discussion can wait…
Allow me to jump down off my soapbox.
To try to explain this in Spanish would have been suicide. Explaining what I truly meant would be twisted and hard to express accurately for a number of reasons. Mainly it was that meaning-language-cognitive constructions are ingrained and hard to deconstruct and reconstruct fast enough to carry on a conversation in a new language.
I am getting to the part where I tell you what I am learning from this…
Have you ever felt like you have no language? I mean, you have a language, you understand through cognitive constructions that have developed your perception of the world. That’s a given. But have you ever felt like there are no words to express what you feel, see, believe… or desire. I felt like that today.
It is as if there is no way to even describe that which you are experiencing… because someone would have to walk in your shoes, erase every memory from the former life to take on only the experience of your life to finally understand your point of view, past understandings, personal preferences, etc. It’s impossible to do so. I can never be or understand completely anyone else. EVER. Let alone, I often have a hard time understanding myself.
This past week has been one of frustration and defeat. I feel like I am lo más peor (the WORST) at speaking in Spanish right now. So I’ve been watching a lot of English TV (“Estas viendo Warner Channel”) and reading things in English; I just miss stuff.
I miss the way people appreciate sarcasm and dry humor (I am a patron, an artist of neither one). I miss the way authenticity is valued. I miss the respect for authority or high regard for hard work. Last week, I had a professor announce that she wanted to move her test up a week and a half. That meant that we would take the test in only 2 more classes, or one week later. I had a one week notice to read about 150 pages of Administration material in Spanish. What’s more, the material I was initially given to read was the material for the next test and the professor chose to tell me this less than a week before the test would be given. That next week I had already bought tickets and made reservations to be in Chile all week. So when the trip was over, my next two days were dedicated to studying for this test. I read almost all the material and had a good understanding of it.
When the test was given out, it was all questions that required regurgitation! “Draw this timeline and graph.” I could have simply read my notes and memorized things from the night before, but my method of studying was insufficient! EVERYTHING was regurgitation. I don’t do regurgitation. I made a 6.5 out of 10. That’s passing here. Come to find out though… the grade doesn’t count; only the final decides your grade for the semester.
Anyway, watching English TV- that’s how I dealt with my frustration! It’s not like doing these kinds of things make me feel better, they just help delay the inevitable inner struggle: to submit and conform to a language world that I initially chose to enter… or to resist the culture’s influence and grow increasingly frustrated or bitter.
I have found that I do this with Christ. I chose to enter into a relationship with the son of God. This implies a cause, rather a need. I had a need and wanted to ultimately pursue another world other than the one in which I live. Within this new world, rather this kingdom, cognitive constructions couldn’t be more different than those of my formal world. It’s as if my understanding of what I feel, see, believe, and even desire has changed because the meaning of the world has changed.
So what will help me ease into the culture of this new world? Well watching English TV… any TV for that matter, doesn’t help (in both worlds: Spanish and Kingdom)
But honestly, I’ve found not much can keep the culture shock from happening. It is during this time, you cry the most, you feel the deepest, you laugh hardest, and act in the weirdest ways, etc… most importantly, this is the time when friendships are valued and found to be true or false, leaving no room for the mediocre. You desire your best friends, your family, your siblings. ha!
I actually called my little sister to chat just because I missed my best friend! At the end of our conversation she told me "I understand what you mean." I couldn't help but cry. I missed someone understanding, someone who knew me well.
I think God has been trying to teach me how to be a friend and how to love people. I don't listen like I should or try to understand my friends all the time and know them... because that's hard to do. It takes an emotional investment and nowadays, our culture is into all investments except those emotional.
Yesterday, I was signing the facebook wall of one of my newest and dearest friends here in Mendoza (Laura, an exchange student from Columbia) and she had a quote that said this:
Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.
-Rev Ed Hird
I believe it. When you look at the deepest friendships, the most secure relationships, and the longest lasting marriages… you see a root in understanding. I do not mean to say that understanding a person 24/7 is necessary for a good relationship. I do mean to say that the person who has someone in their life, who seems to understand them and want to know their heart, seems to deal with life pretty well. If I was a friend who practiced understanding... I think I'd be a better friend.
When I simply feel understood, I feel pretty great. I feel REALLY great!
I guess before I start ranting and raving as I did earlier, I should try to understand before I seek to be understood. That is sacrifice, selflessness, love... being a friend.
Today I had a conversation with some Argentine youth (who will go unnamed) about the United States. She spoke English and wanted to travel to speak English and go to school abroad. When asked where she would go, she said “Not the United States- I don’t like the culture or the politics.” Funny, she has never been to the US.
I then asked her what about the politics she doesn’t like. “Todo” meaning “all of it,” was her response. She couldn’t tell me what specifically she didn’t like- but she knew she hated Bush. Oh ok, well that’s a sufficient reason. Totally reasonable.
I haven’t been angry, mainly just amused, when people criticize the US here. It’s funny to me. Their politicians are so corrupt and their people are naïve and apathetic, in general (I don’t want to make sweeping statement and apply stereotypes, though it may be hard to avoid). Still, they have a mouthful of criticism for Americans: we are too rich, all of us have pools in our backyards, we are naïve and don’t see what’s really going on in the world, our politicians are super corrupt and money-grubbing, we are ignorant and act entitled, and the list goes on…
Now I am NOT denying those critics their right. They are right a lot of the time. Clearly, the US has her problems. Yet, someone has to ask “Why is the US where it is today? Why does our economy boom and our influence reach the world over?”
If you were to say that Americans harder working, smarter, better looking, stronger, etc., you simply put down another nationality or culture. Then I’d be accused of prejudice or even… racism. Oh God no.
Why is America where she is today? I’m not assuming that our position is good and almighty. I am asking why does America (EEUU for other Americans) find herself as THE key player in International Relations? I mean to say that if nations were playing a game of poker, America wouldn’t always have winning cards. But she would always be betting the most, calling every other nations’ bluff, and scoping out suspected cheaters. She’d always be playing. So why is America always in the game?
Could the answer be that obvious? Could it really be the strong foundation that our forefathers (Madison, Paine, Franklin, Jefferson, etc.) gave us: A foundation of morals and values- more specifically, a value for life? Could it be the idea that everyman was created equally and given free reign and complete responsibility for his/her life so long as they stayed within the laws of the state- those, which only served to protect the general welfare and promote individual wellbeing? Could it be capitalism- the economy’s freedom from the government’s regulating hand? Could it be that it is a boiling pot of humanity… each man seeking religious, social, and economic freedom? Why would people be attracted to America? Could it be it is the representation of an ideal?
Even if I didn’t believe all that mentioned above has contributed to America’s arrival at her present state, I would lie and say it was the strong foundation of values: morals, freedom, personal responsibility, and individual life. What other reason could I give that wouldn’t make me out to be a “close minded red-neck” or the next Hitler? To claim that our land, people, or society is reasoning for our country’s status is to be borderline… racist? Close minded?
Think about it.
And if it’s not any of the above reasons and God knows it isn’t luck, then what could it be? Values.
I don’t know what else it could be? Whether you and I like it or not, our values drive what we say, think, and do. Our values drive our lives. For that matter, when one looses his or her values, what happens to them? What will happen to America? Will she stop being what our “founding fathers” found and become what other nations want her to be? I don’t know how that could happen if other nations can’t agree on what a perfect America would look like… especially when those nations are filled with youth that form their opinions based upon media and CNN. But that discussion can wait…
Allow me to jump down off my soapbox.
To try to explain this in Spanish would have been suicide. Explaining what I truly meant would be twisted and hard to express accurately for a number of reasons. Mainly it was that meaning-language-cognitive constructions are ingrained and hard to deconstruct and reconstruct fast enough to carry on a conversation in a new language.
I am getting to the part where I tell you what I am learning from this…
Have you ever felt like you have no language? I mean, you have a language, you understand through cognitive constructions that have developed your perception of the world. That’s a given. But have you ever felt like there are no words to express what you feel, see, believe… or desire. I felt like that today.
It is as if there is no way to even describe that which you are experiencing… because someone would have to walk in your shoes, erase every memory from the former life to take on only the experience of your life to finally understand your point of view, past understandings, personal preferences, etc. It’s impossible to do so. I can never be or understand completely anyone else. EVER. Let alone, I often have a hard time understanding myself.
This past week has been one of frustration and defeat. I feel like I am lo más peor (the WORST) at speaking in Spanish right now. So I’ve been watching a lot of English TV (“Estas viendo Warner Channel”) and reading things in English; I just miss stuff.
I miss the way people appreciate sarcasm and dry humor (I am a patron, an artist of neither one). I miss the way authenticity is valued. I miss the respect for authority or high regard for hard work. Last week, I had a professor announce that she wanted to move her test up a week and a half. That meant that we would take the test in only 2 more classes, or one week later. I had a one week notice to read about 150 pages of Administration material in Spanish. What’s more, the material I was initially given to read was the material for the next test and the professor chose to tell me this less than a week before the test would be given. That next week I had already bought tickets and made reservations to be in Chile all week. So when the trip was over, my next two days were dedicated to studying for this test. I read almost all the material and had a good understanding of it.
When the test was given out, it was all questions that required regurgitation! “Draw this timeline and graph.” I could have simply read my notes and memorized things from the night before, but my method of studying was insufficient! EVERYTHING was regurgitation. I don’t do regurgitation. I made a 6.5 out of 10. That’s passing here. Come to find out though… the grade doesn’t count; only the final decides your grade for the semester.
Anyway, watching English TV- that’s how I dealt with my frustration! It’s not like doing these kinds of things make me feel better, they just help delay the inevitable inner struggle: to submit and conform to a language world that I initially chose to enter… or to resist the culture’s influence and grow increasingly frustrated or bitter.
I have found that I do this with Christ. I chose to enter into a relationship with the son of God. This implies a cause, rather a need. I had a need and wanted to ultimately pursue another world other than the one in which I live. Within this new world, rather this kingdom, cognitive constructions couldn’t be more different than those of my formal world. It’s as if my understanding of what I feel, see, believe, and even desire has changed because the meaning of the world has changed.
So what will help me ease into the culture of this new world? Well watching English TV… any TV for that matter, doesn’t help (in both worlds: Spanish and Kingdom)
But honestly, I’ve found not much can keep the culture shock from happening. It is during this time, you cry the most, you feel the deepest, you laugh hardest, and act in the weirdest ways, etc… most importantly, this is the time when friendships are valued and found to be true or false, leaving no room for the mediocre. You desire your best friends, your family, your siblings. ha!
I actually called my little sister to chat just because I missed my best friend! At the end of our conversation she told me "I understand what you mean." I couldn't help but cry. I missed someone understanding, someone who knew me well.
I think God has been trying to teach me how to be a friend and how to love people. I don't listen like I should or try to understand my friends all the time and know them... because that's hard to do. It takes an emotional investment and nowadays, our culture is into all investments except those emotional.
Yesterday, I was signing the facebook wall of one of my newest and dearest friends here in Mendoza (Laura, an exchange student from Columbia) and she had a quote that said this:
Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.
-Rev Ed Hird
I believe it. When you look at the deepest friendships, the most secure relationships, and the longest lasting marriages… you see a root in understanding. I do not mean to say that understanding a person 24/7 is necessary for a good relationship. I do mean to say that the person who has someone in their life, who seems to understand them and want to know their heart, seems to deal with life pretty well. If I was a friend who practiced understanding... I think I'd be a better friend.
When I simply feel understood, I feel pretty great. I feel REALLY great!
I guess before I start ranting and raving as I did earlier, I should try to understand before I seek to be understood. That is sacrifice, selflessness, love... being a friend.
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